Changing

I've been sick for almost 2 month, and for that long, I've been changed, Sometimes I really don't understand my self, it was weird... When u get sick, u will really down, and always ask why I have to through this? why?? why I don't deserve well and happy?

All my life, I never felt that happy, I realize that I don't know what's make me happy, why happiness don't want be friend with me, I felt really desperate sometime, this disease really change me? I don't want this personality, that make me more introvert, sensitive, trust issue, hate social life, loner and being a negative person.. Previously I was a positive one, have a big spirit, and hard worker.....I really miss my old one...

Now, I see people from how they look,how they act, even how they smile, I became a judgemental person, I really hate my self...Sometimes I think I really want to stand apart, to reflect what I was doin for 29 years in my life....I really don't hope that somebody else could understand me, and accept me who I am to be.... I just thinking all of this years people wearing a mask, including me maybe, and all they do is a such a drama.....

People changes, so don't be sad, just face it..and accept the fact that I'm changing too. All this years, I became old, and so many fears, that was old people issue rite? When I think about future, I feel afraid, because now I'm a sick person, how could I face the future if I have limitation? All my dream like a nightmare right now...



I really hate having medicine everyday, but I have to, coz I really want to recover and back like old times..Sometimes I really envy that other people can reach their dreams easily...I feel like a loser who has a big dream but just weak to reach it.



I don't need your pity though, even I'm weak, that was not okay if u pity at me at all....I can stand by myself. I understand now, why sick people avoid their friends, their social life, just because they don't want any pity from somebody else.. that was my feelings.


Today I went to hospital to check what going on in my body, from sunday I felt pain in my left chest, I'm afraid that likuid still inside my left lung..I consider to go to Jakarta for advanced examination, but I have to think about money too, that must be a lot of money to spend..


This writing really make me relieve that I can write my feelings, and actually I don't really like to share to anyone, just keep it for my self.

Singapore Trip

After my disaster in hospital, trying getting vacation for a while, try to find new environment, new fresh air to make up my mind, I decided to go Spore with my friend. Actually I bought this ticket for a long time, and it was make me confused, I rather go or not, I just getting health after hospital...

But I decided to go, this time I went with backpacker way, it just near from my hometown, it was okay then, I never done this backpaker way, this is the first time though...We bought a cheap ticket from Air asia, It was only RP 800.000 for departure and return, an then we book a dormitory hostel named FERNLOFT at Little India.

with my friend at airport's waiting lounge

Pose first before take off LOL

Yeay, we arrived at Changi Airport, and we have to find where the MRT station..., it was quite far from arrived section, we have to walk about 15 minutes went down followed the sign...After that we really confused how to buy a ticket for MRT the, coz there was no customer service that we can asked, so I asked Indian guy who bought a ticket from GTM, it was like an ATM but specially for MRT ticket..He taught me how to buy a single card, it was $3 to go Little India. Actually there was passenger service, so I asked them if we want to use MRT for 4 days, then they suggest we bought a tourist card for $30 for 3 days, we can go around everywhere using MRT..., after using 3 days we have to return that card, and we can get refund $10.

at Tanah Merah interchange

We got lost at Tanah Merah interchange, we really didn't know that we have to went down to change MRT , so we have ro return the same way to get Tanah Merah interchange again and went to a right direction, I was so exhausted at the first, but after a few hours I really understood this MRT way, so we never lost again, thanks to singaporean who really nice when I asked them..so helpful..

at MRT, so quite

Finally we arrived at Fernloft, took a rest for a while and ready to explore orchard road...

Day 1 begin..

I eat chicken rice, famous food in Spore

this is funny, SILIT in Indonesia means butt, in Spore brand's of cooking equipment

Day 2

This day we decided to go Universal, we walked a few minute to MRT station FARRER PARK, and we go to Sentosa Island. This day just spend the day in Universal, it was quite big, and we want to try many games there...so this us...

In lobby of hostel

there was a big mirror, mirror mirror on the wall who is the prettiest girl in the world?

In front of hostel

In MRT to the Harbour Front

We arrived at Sentosa Island

A way to Universal

 

 

 

 

In front of Universal, the famous one, everybody came here must be took a picture here

Sci-fi section = transformer

a beautiful camaro

An extreme roller coaster called cyclon

A roller coaster again called Mummy express

Welcome to Jurassic park

chill out for a while so damn hot

So many princess here, welcome to far far away

Feels like a princess in Castle

with famous donkey

Where is the king?

Walk of fame, Is there your name in it?

Sesame street store, there was so many cute things

Who wants go with me with this taxi?

Quite tiring for a second day, but felt happy and fun. The weather was really hot, and made us really thirsty though...

Day 3

We decided to go Marina Bay Sands, Garden By The Bay, Esplanade and Merlion Park, quite rough.

It was really high...so afraid.

Marina Bay Sands taken from far

Garden By The Bay from far

Seems like bunny rite? so cute

OCBC Skyway

Seems like elephant, great job

Self potrait from OCBC Skyway

In front of Esplanade

Mini merlion

Double dekker

Day 4

We went to Sentosa Island again coz at day 2 was not enough time for exploring another experience, today we go to Underwater World and Dolphin show, it cost $25 for entry Underwater World, there was a lot of unique fish...

After Underwater World we went to China town, so crowded there and so many pork seller...The famous one called Bee Cheng hiang, they sell sliced pork, sausage pork, etc

There was an Indonesian stand

Day 5

This is the last day in Spore, our flight at 11.15 AM, so we went to the airport early, to anticipate traffic jam...Overall my trip was fun, just a few things that bothering me....that's fine, that made me learning that every one is a different...Ciao