Colourful June

It's been long time, I'm not writing blog, I've been through a lot, I've been sick caused Salmonella bacterium, I got fever for one week, my temperature going up and down especially going up when night day....Until I went to hospital and doctor said I had to laboratorium check and take a blood sample, and the result salmonella paratyphy was positive....

Doctor gave me two option, I had to opname in hospital or take care in home, I chose second option, coz I really hate hospital, I hate needle, hate the smell of drugs.....I've been opname at hospital once in my life, when I got really sick because of hepatitis A in 2008 and that made a lot of trauma for me to go back to hospital.

Hmmmm...I really geting bored right now, I can't do my activities, I have to bed rest totally.... Can't eat spicy food, wry food, so many restriction...and then my taste going down badly....

My activities just reading some books, watching movies and television, and sometimes online in internet, but at the night I get migrain and my temperature is so high, that make me weak....

Sometime, I really don't want people know that I'am sick, I really hate when people take a pity of me because I'm sick, and I get a compliment because I'm sick.....I really don't like when I have to depend on somebody else to take care of me, and sometime because of that I've become really stubborn....

The point of this situation is I have a lot of view for people who really care about me or just pretend care about me. ..... When u care about someone, u just make them happy, u don't wanna make them sad or more sick....Just cheer them up, and give a support, not give a word that make them down.... In this point I can support my self, and stay positive and say to my self that I'm healthy now.

On this June, I hope my day is colourful like a painting, even though I'm sick now, but I will get well soon....and hoping this June is my lucky month....I'am grateful for my condition, and for my life, this is my learning to be a better person.

I read some books, that books really great, make me have some perspective, and make me relieve...Sometime I look for a reason to live, and asking about my self, who don't really have an answer, so many question, so  many thought, so many doubt, and so many reason....

I just wanna be my self, wanna happy life, wanna do what I want to do, wanna relax, wanna refreshing...I can do it...